Things I've Learned From My Kids

• Bedtime is apparently a relative term.
• Dessert and snack are two different things-though both apparently are supposed to contain sugar.
• Studying flashcards and nightly reading are not homework if they're not on the homework sheet.
• Items placed on the stairs to be put away at the next ascending are invisible.
• Dishes apparently make their own way to counter if you leave them long enough.
• Weather in the 50's means it's time for shorts and flip-flops.
• Playing the wii does not count as TV time.
• You can't be in the fun club if you delegate chores.
• Being too tired absolves you from any responsibility.
• Shopping at Target is supposed to include a trip to the dollar section.
• Bad choices don't count if you're sick.

M-I-A

The past week was a blur. If I go into details, it's possible I'll lose my mind for the fourth or fifth time. We'll leave it at that. Move on and say, "Some weeks are like that, even in Australia.

My Husband the Genius

Okay, so it's no secret that I am by far the most incompetent person in America when it comes to computers. Need someone to tile your bathroom? I'm your girl. Want to faux paint your living room? Give me a call. Haven't filed your taxes yet? No problem, I'm happy to help.

But tell me to be sure I am blocking popups, and you might as well ask me to explain the chaos theory in mathematical equations.

I love blogging. It is a blast. But for more than a week, I have not been able to update my blog from home. Or so I thought. I have been updating from work before I leave for the day. No problem, right? Except, I need to be inspired to write. You know experience an event that prompts me to log on and blog. Sort of like this blog.

But as I said this has been a problem of late due to my-well-computer stupidity. (Don't tell my kids I said stupidity, or I'll owe the "I'm acting like a pig" jar a quarter.)

You see my layout template only shows the Captain Jack picture of Hunter, my profile, and my archived blogs. I asked my blogging savy cohorts. They were baffled. My husband took a shot at it but couldn't figure it out either. Figures, I have single handedly created a computer problem that until I started blogging failed to exist.

I surrendered to the realization that I will post from work. But then, and this is where the title of this blog comes in, my genius husband determined that I somehow enabled a blocker on my tool bar-whatever that means. (I have a tool belt for all of my home projects, but apparently they are two different things.) He was not able to figure out how I did it. But he solved the mystery of what I did. He hasn't been able to undo my mess.

But I can now blog from home. How you ask with burning curiosity?

I can log in to his part of the computer. Because apparently there are several parts to our computer, and we can all have our own section with different stuff on it. Anyway, I can log on to his section and blog from his internet. I don't get how they are different because the icon on the desktop (don't even get me started on that topic) looks the same to me. He still has not figured out what I could have possibly done to create this problem. However, I can blog from home nonetheless. I love my husband-the genius.

Romeo, Romeo where for art thou, Romeo?

Fifteen years ago this month in a vineyard at the base of Stag's Leap in Napa, California, Paul asked me to marry him. The day started with a rose on the dashboard and a personalized cassette-yes, I said cassette-of romantic songs for the drive up to Michael's house in Napa. We went for a walk under the stars in the middle of the vineyard. He got down on one knee in the mud and told me all the reasons why he loved me. Then he asked me to marry him. We celebrated at the restaurant in the Domain Chandon winery. My Romeo was there.

Fourteen years ago this month, we were married. The past fourteen years have been filled with excitement, joy, sorrow, laughter, frustration, fun, humor, fear, anxiety, stress, health, happiness, anticipation, calm, and more. We were blessed with not one but two healthy, happy, beautiful children. Above all the years have been filled with love. We have come through many major life events-Paul's broken back, Hunter's life threatening illness, the move to Colorado. The list goes on. My Romeo was there every step of the way.

We have a weekend getaway planned to celebrate our anniversary and Paul's 40th birthday. We will reminisce about the years, eat good food, see a movie, go to the spa and you know what-my Romeo will be there!

Romeo, Romeo where for art thou Romeo? Right next to me of course.

Things I have learned at 3 AM

• Snow reflects a soft purple hue under the street lights.
• My house makes very odd noises.
• Apparently the insomniac is the target audience for "Paid Programming" ads.
• My couch may match the decor, but it is no place to sleep.
• Tylenol PM does not make me drowsy.
• Tension Tamer tea does not tame my tension.
• There are a lot of people on the road in the middle of the night. Which begs the question, where could they possibly be going?
  
• Paul can sleep through anything, even his snoring.
• I have got to finish painting the upstairs hall way.
• 3 AM is very, very late.

Kiss and G-O, that spells GO!

I am constantly amazed at my assumption that people are going to follow the rules. Me-I like rules. They keep things organized and structured. I find those two qualities comforting, soothing. I like my world orderly. Apparently this is not a sentiment that everyone else shares. I am reminded of this every morning during carpool.

I personally am a fan of the Kiss and Go lane at school. It's quick and to the point. This type of structure helps my day to remain as I like to say, one task and focused. The concept is clear-Kiss meaning to give your kids a smacker, then the assumed get them out of the car, and finally GO meaning to go on your way.

Yeah not so much for a large number of mothers who have apparently of their own decision renamed the lane Park and Plan. Are you kidding me. Let's move people. Take it to Starbucks, Einsteins, Panera-any where but the Kiss and GO!!!

The Big 4-0

On the 28th of February, Paul Sheridan will be 40 years old. He calls himself the blessing in disguise. I call him my prince charming. He was born in a leap year. He missed it by one day. He says that he would have been unstoppable had he been born on the 29th. I can't say I've seen anything hold him back.

He has accomplished quite a bit in his forty years. Studying in London, spreading God's word in the Phillipines, and graduating from the Culinary Institute of America are among some of his proudest accomplishments. He has been featured in magazines, won numerous cooking awards, cooked for world renown leaders and famous people. He's been pretty busy these past 40 years. But of all he has done and all he has accomplished, I am most proud of the daddy that he is to Maddy and Hunter.

When the day is done and I lay my head on my pillow at night, I thank God for the husband that he is. I have been blessed to share the last 16 years of my life with him. It has been my honor to grow with him through the ups and downs of life. He has honored our vows in sickness and in health. Our love is standing the test of time. He is my best friend, my partner. He is God's perfect provision for me. I wanted to kick him when I was ten, and he was pulling my hair in Kid's Club. I drove him crazy in high school. I fell in love with him in college. I'm spending my life with him forever. Looks like we made it, look how far we've come my baby...I look forward to the next 40 years together. Growing old is gonna be fun...because you'll be there to make me smile. Thanks for sharing your life with me. Happy Birthday, Baby! All my love! J-

Round Two

And here it is. Paul has the flu. What else is there to say? UGH! Of course power of suggestion has led me to begin experiencing aches in my joints and I think my throat might be a little scratchy.

You know what this means. Hours of sanitizing the house for the nasty virus that has invaded the house. Of course, I did this last week and the week before that and the week before that...

I am convinced the big mean green guys watch at a microscopic distance laughing at the futility of my efforts to kill them and the germs they leave behind.

I'm sorry did you say Mono-He's six!

This month has been a complete whirlwind. The new year started, and February is here. I'm sorry what...what happened in January? Oh yeah, the kids went off track and Hunter got mono. We spent four grueling days with fevers ranging between 103-105 degrees before we got the diagnosis.

With the diagnosis came the following instructions, "You will need to significantly reduce his activities for the next two weeks. I don't want him to participate in any sports or outside activities."

I chuckled half to myself and half out loud. Our pediatrician glanced up and said, "No, really, no activity of any kind for two weeks." I'm sorry have you met my son. Yeah, the six year old BOY! Good luck with that!

I found myself thankful for the waves of exhaustion that came over him daily for the first week. But then the exhaustion started to diminish as the illness began to ebb. Oh Dear! Now what! I know workbooks. Yeah, right!

My sister suggested to Hunter that he should get a brave souvenier. I'm sorry...what...I'm sure this was payback from the suggestion I made to Ashliana that the tooth fairy paid $10 for the first tooth you lose.

Lesson learned at the cost of the new Indiana Jones Lego set and $59 later. Yeah, I said $59. Never, I repeat never, agree to a lego set without first knowing not only the price but also the number of pieces. I spent 3 hours constructing the chamber of horrors for Hunter complete with snakes, skulls and spiders-gross. Like I said, lesson learned.

We are now healthy, happy and rested. Oh yeah, and broke!

Under Construction

Inspired by amazingly creative friends, I am going to under take this completely foreign world of blogging. Upon hearing the news, Paul simply walked away saying, "Of course you are." Well, after fourteen years of marriage, I am still completely predictable to him. Do I celebrate that fact or do I aim for mystery and intrigue to keep him guessing? Yeah, that's too exhausting. I'll celebrate the predictability. I look forward to the outlet of the blog and another item on my to do list, because that's not full enough.