Monday, January 9, 2012

In Her Shoes

The other night Paul valiantly turned on the DVR to a movie that he had recorded for me. He felt that I had "earned" a chick flick. It was a movie that neither of us had heard of, but its title definitely had "chick flick" potential.

In Her Shoes.

Whether or not you decide to see this movie, I offer my standard disclaimer. I definitely believe watching the movie will require a filter. Especially, I suspect, if you elect to watch the movie unedited for television. But, its story had me in uncontrollable sobs by the end. Sobs that were healing but hard.

Poor Paul.

2011 marked a new journey for me. One that had me miles from where I started, when I graduated from Cal Poly ready to impart teenagers with a passion of literature.

The protagonist in the movie, through several gut wrenching events, completely uproots her life. She walks away from a promising career in law and becomes a dog walker. Through her journey, which I suspect is far more developed on the pages of the book than it was in the movie, she is healed.

Healed from the need to protect others.

Healed from the need to secure her importance in this world.

Healed from the need to be anything other than what she is.

Healed from the need to hide behind her success.

I, like the protagonist, needed healing. The evidence of this mounted as 2010 marched onward. At the end of 2010, I walked away from education and my "need" to help students everywhere and crawled toward lives of my precious babies.

To say that 2011 was an adjustment would be the biggest understatement I've ever made. Never did I think I would walk away from my career.

Today, I bake cakes to help people celebrate life's accomplishments and joys. Occasionally, I substitute teach in classrooms throughout Highlands Ranch.

Today, I am healed.

Tomorrow, I find my voice!

Walking in the Light

Wow! This year year has been a whirlwind to say the least. I am shocked we are near the half way point in February. Part of me wants to dance. If the start of the year is any indication of how it is going to go, I am happy it's flying by. I will usher in 2009 with bells and whistles.

Yet, I am humbly reminded that every day is a gift, and I need to walk in the Light. I need to let Him guide me through each day. I need to listen to His still, quiet voice...Yeah I know for me that's a stretch. I'm never still long enough to catch my breath.

As I write this, our dear neighbor of ten years is fighting stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I am awed by the faith she has in God. I am humbled by the fight she has within her to beat the demon we know as cancer. Hunter, in his six year old wisdom said to me, "Mommy, why are you sad? We are just going to pray and Jesus is going to make her better." The faith of a child and the living testimony of one who is dwelling in God's amazing grace reminds me to walk daily in the His unfailing light.