Paul recently posted a story on his blog heychefpw that opens the door to this one!
When Paul and I were engaged, we attended a premarital class at our church. The purpose was to address and to discuss the key areas of marriage. The point was to help us at least start the dialogue so that when things arose in the marriage, we would have already had some semblance of a plan to help with the challenges we might face.
On one particular evening the topic was finances.
The question before us was, "Of the two of you, who is the most frugal?" Hands down me! I was about to answer when, in horror, I hear Paul blurt out, "No question, it's me!"
Excuse me...Did I hear you right?
I looked at him with clear confusion (note the post's title) and said, "What did you say?"
"I'm by far more frugal than you." This of course got smirks from the group, especially the males who apparently felt his pain and identified with the fact that he faced a marriage in which he would painfully work to the bone, and I would frivolously spend his every last penny.
I calmly (which is a miracle I know, but Paul would tell the story the same way) said, "Are you serious?"
"Yeah, Honey, look at how much money I have compared to you?" This brought audible laughter from the men.
At that moment it hit me.
(Imagine the light bulb and thought cloud here) He has NO idea what frugal means.
I CLEARLY love this man. Because those of you who know me, know that apart from integrity, nothing is more important to me than justice. I wanted nothing more than to explain that I had the biggest bank account, I had savings set aside, I had no credit card debt. He had several credit cards with significant balances. He had no savings account to speak of and was at that time living paycheck to paycheck.
Instead, I WAS SILENT...I let those guys think I was a typical Los Gatos girl shopping her head off. It was my sign that Paul was the one!
On the way home that night, I said to him, "Paul, do you know what frugal means?"
"Yeah, it's like overboard, outlandish. You know, like the frugal gourmet." (It's an old TV cooking show about a guy who makes outlandish meals on a great budget.)
"Yeah, it's an oxymoron. Frugal means cheap, doesn't spend carelessly."
"Oh, is that why he always talks about how much money he saved?"
Protected: Everybody’s daughter and her loss.
5 months ago