You Just Want Me to Be Great!

45 minutes until swim practice.

I can see it in her eyes. She doesn't want to go.

I am NOT in the mood to deal with the drama of the ever changing teenage attitude.

I have two choices. I can ignore it, or I can hit it head on knowing that I will walk into a hornet's nest if I do.

OH YES I DID!!!

After I successfully deliver, what I believe to be the single best lecture I have given to date, she responds with eyes rolled so far back in her head that I'm pretty sure she could see her brain stem. She delivers the next statement with such conviction and passion that I am sure she believes she has closed the case.

"This is all your fault! You just want me to be great!"

"Fine, call Kimsey and your dad and tell them you won't be at practice."

15 minutes later someone was swimming a 200 freestyle warmup.

"Did You Hear That Maddy?"

Watching sports today is an art form-especially navigating the commericials.
SO, mom's of boys, listen up.

One Sunday afternoon, while doing laundry in the basement, I hear Hunter launch into hysterical laughter. Laughter reserved for embarrassment or bodily noises that boys find hilarious and will remain unmentioned.

I then hear him utter words that bring me to a cold sweat.
"Maddy, did you hear that?"

I cautiously climbed the basement stairs and stupidly asked, "Hear what, Hunter?"

"That commericial."

With fear and trembling I inquired, "What did it say?"

"Ask your doctor if you are healthy enough for sex." was the reply he gave.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Maddy's eyes pop out of her head. She looked at me in horror as if to say "YOU AREN'T GOING TO TELL HIM ARE YOU?!?"

I was NOT about to have THAT conversation-not without Paul. But, much to my chagrin, I also knew I could not let it go."Do you know what sex is Hunter?"

"I think so."

Gulp!

"What is it?"

Suffice it to say, he is not quite there, but his little gifted mind is definitely putting it together. I relayed the events to Paul when he returned home from his errand. He then proceeds to tell me the PROCEDURE for watching sporting events. Given that the target audience is middle aged men, he turns the channel during commercials.

Yeah, that would have been good to know.