PreApproved

According to Merriam Webster, the definition of preapproved is "to gain favorable opinion beforehand; the act of obtaining approval first. In my opinion this seems straight forward. Correct me if I'm wrong, but if one is preapproved, one is already accepted.

Apparently not in the lovely suburb of Highlands Ranch, Colorado.

I'm pretty well versed on the Highlands Ranch Homeowners Association "Rules". I use the word rules lightly however, as the adherence to these rules appears to the outside observer to be random at best.

According to said rules, homeowners are to paint their houses every five years. Well, we are approaching six. Time to paint.

Nevermind that there are houses in our neighborhood that have not been painted since they were constructed slightly over 10 years ago. You do the math.

Again with the lack of adherence to the "rules."

The "rules" also say that you have to get your colors approved. I'm sorry-have you seen some of the color schemes. Yeah, not a fan.

But, nevertheless, I being the "rule" follower that I am want to have my ducks in a row. So, I called the architectural department to clarify the process and determine what the procedure was. (Last time we painted, we didn't change colors, hence no need to get approved.)

This time we want to change colors. Thus, we have to go through the long drawn out approval process.

But wait...maybe not...I learned during my phone conversation that there are PREAPPROVED colors. THANK GOD...

The administrative assistant patiently and dutifully explained what I needed to do to get approved or offered the colors that were PREAPPROVED.

She did clarify that I was not limited by the PREAPPROVED colors, of course. Oh, of course. The thought that PREAPPROVED colors were available thrilled me, as available time to complete the process for approval is limited at best.

It was what she said next that caused me to pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it in utter disbelief. "If you select the PREAPPROVED colors, you need to submit an approval form for approval."

I'm sure those of you that know my ability to avoid confrontation know what happened next.

Oh yes I did.

I launched into a dissertation regarding the definition of PREAPPROVAL. Her response was timid and confused, "Well, uh, we still need to know what you're doing." Really? Huh, I don't recall moving into the twilight zone of George Orwell's 1984.